Last month, for my own pleasure, I sought the company of my own beautiful companion. The experience of searching for the right provider is just as memorable as the provider herself. (If you’re reading this, I’m still crushing, can we do it again?) After getting totally lost in the female body in its most perfect form, I immediately made a consultation for breast and body enhancements. In the spirit of a woman who is paid to lean into the crazy and absurd, I’m never in a position to listen to protests against it. I’ve seen some of the best work. Natural is beautiful, but enhanced can be better. I want to be better. Good is just okay. And that’s problem with success and people. Most people leave a successful career because they couldn’t be better than good. I read on nearly every provider’s website: “After a successful career in X, I decided to quit and do Y.” (Assume X and Y are functions that represent careers with parameters competency and time.) When I read these, my little crazy brain becomes confused and thinks this is an issue with honesty and competency. Or, it’s part of marketing, and I just never understand why people do the things they do for the purpose of marketing. If I could advise these providers, I would say, “Girl, leave that shit it out. You’re telling everyone about yourself!” Which is: you’re not being truthful, or you probably weren’t very good at your job, or both.